If there’s one game we simply cannot get enough of right now, it’s Call of Duty: Warzone. Here at Metabomb we’re totally obsessed, so utterly obsessed with this silly mode where you approach a jeep sporting a “kawai” anime skin and ask with intense urgency “we got a trophy yeah?”. It is nonsense - unless you are in the Warzone. Only those brave enough to step into the Warzone will understand this lingo. Price’s tongue, some call it.
Our first win as a squad almost caused us to blackout from elation. We will recall memories of it fondly around a campfire reunion when we are old and grizzled, the marshmallows sizzling away, its reflection in our eyes, the camera zooming in, further and further, then a quick transition to a montage of us all screaming “TEAM WIPE”. Cue grinning and hugging and laughing.
Season 5 arrives next week and we’ve got the bunting out. It’s a huge day. There are a number of things we’d like to see, and with so many hours spent in the Warzone we’ve got a few gripes and suggestions.
So, here’s what we’d like from Season 5.
What do we want from Warzone Season 5?
Rocks mate. Fix the rocks, I beg you.
My character can vault off a building roof and land without snapping their knees. And yet, they cannot scale the littlest rocky incline. Rocks and cliffs in Warzone are not covered in moss, it doesn’t look like it rains a lot. Why are they so slippery? Can someone explain why my super soldier cannot perform the simple act of getting up the rock?
Alright, all jokes aside - I’m very angry. It would be nice if Infinity Ward, Activision or whoever it is, gives the rocks greater clarity. To know if you can climb or not climb them in a hairy situation would be a dream come true.
The gas mask animation.
If you’ve got a gas mask and you step into the gas, your character will automatically pull it over their head. This animation interrupts your ADS and forces you to hipfire. Plus, it obscures your vision for a bit too.
There is only one time it has affected me, but I will never forget. I had a great position, the perfect setup. The circle was pretty tight and the gas tickled my behind just as I went for a quick spray down on an unsuspecting enemy. They were totally clueless, they had no idea what day of the week it was. You already know what happened. Gas mask went down, I hipfired, I was downed. Cheers.
I’d love it if we had greater agency over the gas mask. Imagine being able to press a button to equip and take off the mask - imagine!
Footstep audio is maddening.
One thing CS:GO and Valorant nail - for the most part - is footstep audio. It’s pretty easy to listen for enemy footsteps and detect which direction they’re approaching, retreating, and so on.
Understandably, Warzone is a very different beast. I get that. And I know it must be an immense undertaking, but I’d love to see some improvements on this front. Too often enemies will sneak right up to you and you won’t hear a thing. Sometimes you do, though. Sometimes you hear your teammates stomping around super loud and it’s hard to pick out the finer details. There’s zero consistency and in a largely competitive shooter I think it’s an important thing to address.
Give me horns.
In Warzone’s Season 4, they added the best feature in any Battle Royale. Dare I say it, the finest addition in recent gaming history.
You can now edit your horn honking.
Unfortunately, a lot of these horns are locked behind specific premium purchases in the shop, and whilst I don’t have a problem with people paying for fancy stuff, I only got the Battle Pass so I only have one horn.
It’s a banger, don’t get me wrong! But there’s only so many times I can toot out my horrible remix of Ride of the Valkyries before my teammates all bail from the chopper and refuse to ever fight alongside me ever again.
I want more horns. Give me Rick Astley. Give me the Spongebob theme song. Hell, let me blast out John Coltrane ditties as I trundle across the map in my ATV.
And put them on the Battle Pass so we all have a nice, wide selection to announce our incoming chaos.
Soap? Mason? I laugh at you. Give me Rook.
Rook is a famous superstar character and member of Task Force 141 from the popular video game Modern Warfare 2. He’s an Australian driver who assists in the chasing down of Makarov with Price and some other guy whose name escapes me. He shows extreme bravery and skill as he weaves in and out of the enemy vehicles, eventually getting his comrades close enough to continue the chase.
Unfortunately, he is killed in action by a stray bullet from an enemy transport, but even after his death he keeps his foot on the accelerator and is able to keep the car moving, like the absolute legend he is. What a way to go.
Look at this guy.
Strewth. That’s the kind of guy we need in the Warzone, especially if he gets to drive cars with fancy horns.
New Call of Duty
Since the various leaks of Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, many have speculated that we’ll see some teases or info in Warzone’s Season 5. Treyarch’s arm of Call of Duty don’t usually collab with Infinity Ward, but given Warzone’s enormous popularity and player base, it’d seem silly not to. Maybe we’ll even get a Cold War themed map with all different weapons from the new upcoming game implanted into Warzone.
Honestly though, as long as you add more horns and Rook I’m good. And a few more bright pink anime guns. The file size is already getting out of hand.